BubbleTwins

I woke up this morning so refreshed. I had a weird dream last night... but more on that later.... I really need to eat some pearls of wisdom...

• So anyway... church was really REALLY refreshing yesterday.
• I guess it's time to admit, i have really been struggling lately with so much. I mean i know using the word everything seems over-exadurative but to me that's what it feels like. I keep on running from SOMETHING but I'm not quite sure what and i just feel like i need to stop, sit down and take a rest but i can't. Whatever it is I'm running from will catch up to me when i stop and I'm not so sure i want it to. And then i think the dumbest things. I feel like telling someone... talking to see what they have to say but i can't do that. I mean, really, does anyone REALLY know what I am feeling?
• No. Nobody truly knows what your feeling because everybody is different. We all feel differently, even if it's the same emotions running through our heads. They may be the same feelings but we can't feel them the same way. I used to have a therapist (or something like that. I'm not really sure what she was but she tried to get me to open up about my feelings so she'll be my ex-therapist for now) She used to have me share my feelings with her and after almost everything she said she was like: "I know exactly how you feel". But she didn't. Maybe she was just saying it because what i felt cut DEEP. How could she share the same emotions with me?
  
• It's like looking at your reflection in the back of a spoon. It's you who's there. It's your face reflecting in the back of that spoon. But it's not really you because your face is a little distorted. It's not exactly the same. It looks like it at first glance but it's still not YOU.
  
• And here I am sharing my sob story with you. Most of you who read my blog have a clue what cuts so deep with me, why I'm struggling right now, or why I even needed a therapist. But i really want to talk to someone. Someone who listens. Someone who cares and isn't like: "I know just how you feel" because they're getting payed for it.
  
• Welcome to my life.
• By the way, i don't really have anything against therapists... it's just sometimes it hurt me more that helped me to have a therapist who pretended she knew.
  
• I just re-read all of that and really.... Could i be a little less positive?! I mean really. I just want to smack myself senseless!
  
• Sorry about that......
  
• By the way, that's why church was so refreshing because my heart felt safe and not like it was splitting right down the middle.
• I am having Emma over today for a sleepover. I'm absolutely stoked. She's like my best friend and it will be nice to see her and just talk to her.
• I don't think she's ever told me she knows how i feel and that feels good.
  
• Don't you ever just want to punch a wall or throw a jar? I've never done it but I wonder what it would be like.
• Leah would shake the baby.... NO LEAH! DON'T SHAKE THE BABY!... i love you! Just not when your crying!
• That was a joke by the way. Leah would never ever shake a baby!
• I read my bible this morning (ha ha i remembered without Makalyn!!!!!)
• Anyway... I was reading in 1st Timothy and i read something really cool. It was about being pleasing to God and others not only in your actions but in your lifestyle and how you dress and talk. It was really cool cuz it gave me standards that i did already live by but also standards that I needed to work on.
  
• I say the bible is a pretty cool book!
• I guess it's time to reveal... animated kid and Freddie are still adorable.... Sue me!
  
• I really want to watch a Star Wars movie.... one with Count Dooku. I don't know why but I'm just like: "Hey! Let's go listen to Count Dooku!"
  
• Enough said....
• Comments always appreciated!!!