BubbleTwins

I think that, out of every single person in the world who has the ability to drive me crazy, I succeed at doing it the best.
Like, really? Yes. I sit there, and run and trip over my own thoughts (I could litterly do this for hours and not get past the top layer of thinking) and I. Go. Mad.
I make myself angry because I can't do something. I get all bent out of shape because I fail, and mess up and then think I am not good enough. I get angry with myself because I have these long freeze moments when writing my book and it just sits there. And nothing happens.
I'm pretty much an expert at making myself angry.
Which, in all honesty is. P.A.T.H.E.T.I.C.
If I can't love myself, who else can? How can I love others?
I love myself, I really do. I would take a bullet for myself. (Sorry for gloating, but I'm digging deeper, and I think EVERYONE should at least once do this one thing for themselves.)
Yet when I mess up, there is that little moment where I want, so badly to hate myself. I want to go off in some remote corner, stare into the blank corner and scream. Because that would be easy right? Spill (or spit) my anger out on the wall, wipe my mouth with my sleeve, and go back to what I was doing.
But NO. That would be too easy. It takes a man to go into that remote corner. It takes a man to take out their bible in that remote corner, or their i-pod, and tune it to worship music. It takes a real man to get ON THEIR KNEES and PRAISE God.
Because He loves us no matter what. All He asks in return is that we humble ourselves, and break down, and give it all to Him.
Blurb for the day.

• The weekend wasn't nearly long enough, and I am dealing with some fruserating stuff. Once. Again.
  
• Barlow Girl's song "ONE MORE ROUND" pretty much explains my life right now. (Next to "Here's my life" and "Hold my heart" My life is just that explainable) But the song talks about going into a ring to fight. And she gets beaten and bruised by her enemy, but she keeps going back in.
• I think goes deep in two levels: We will have trials.
• And: No matter what, God will never put on us more than we can bare, and we'll be able to scrape ourselves off the floor and go in for another round.
• God is that corner man who will wipe the blood from our faces, who will give us something good and re-freshing to drink. He's not going to abandon us.
• I want to go back to Friday night prayer and re-live everything Ryan said. It is so true and so incredible.
• Enough said.