BubbleTwins

Well I have exciting news. Really exciting news, to be sure. This is our 203rd blog. When I really sit down and think about it, that's a freakishly large number (which is why I'm not going to sit down and think about it because first of all, I probably can't even count that high...)
Anyway.
So, I need your dear readers input and ideas DESPERATELY.
As you may or may not know I'm writing a book. (Which by now you should know because I HAVE TOLD YOU SO MANY TIMES! If I'm going to write this stuff, you should take the time to read it!!!)
And I am not sure if my ending will be too much for a reader. So, the question of the century is this: What do you like books you read to end like? Give some examples please!!

Then after I finish RTBB (the book I'm working on, those are abbreviations for it though, the title is rather long) it's onto my next book, which I think I will have to scout locations for. Which leads me to my NEXT almost question of the century: should the setting be a small town in Canada, Kansas or Maine???

Your feedback would be greatly appreciated!!! Anyway.
There is really nothing that I have to say. Nothing uplifting or encouraging. This week has been one of those weeks where I want to just sit and admire and think about everything God has done. I want to just sit there and drink it all in.
Except I do want to say this:
God makes everything happen in his due time. And his plan is perfect.
I have to learn that the hard way a lot because I want my calling NOW. We live in a now world. We want information? We can look it up on Google in seconds. We want to call someone? We whip out a cell phone and press a few buttons. Fast food we get NOW.
But God isn't focused about now. He wants to prune you, and prepare you, he takes time.
Because the finest art in the world takes TIME.
Blurb for the day.

• My sister (in spirit, Emma :)) has been sick lately. My right arm feels like it's been cut off.
• Can I just say that would be really angering if my right arm was cut off? I use my right arm ALL the time. Very inconvenient, to be sure.
• Life is beautiful, that is all I have to say.

I think that, out of every single person in the world who has the ability to drive me crazy, I succeed at doing it the best.
Like, really? Yes. I sit there, and run and trip over my own thoughts (I could litterly do this for hours and not get past the top layer of thinking) and I. Go. Mad.
I make myself angry because I can't do something. I get all bent out of shape because I fail, and mess up and then think I am not good enough. I get angry with myself because I have these long freeze moments when writing my book and it just sits there. And nothing happens.
I'm pretty much an expert at making myself angry.
Which, in all honesty is. P.A.T.H.E.T.I.C.
If I can't love myself, who else can? How can I love others?
I love myself, I really do. I would take a bullet for myself. (Sorry for gloating, but I'm digging deeper, and I think EVERYONE should at least once do this one thing for themselves.)
Yet when I mess up, there is that little moment where I want, so badly to hate myself. I want to go off in some remote corner, stare into the blank corner and scream. Because that would be easy right? Spill (or spit) my anger out on the wall, wipe my mouth with my sleeve, and go back to what I was doing.
But NO. That would be too easy. It takes a man to go into that remote corner. It takes a man to take out their bible in that remote corner, or their i-pod, and tune it to worship music. It takes a real man to get ON THEIR KNEES and PRAISE God.
Because He loves us no matter what. All He asks in return is that we humble ourselves, and break down, and give it all to Him.
Blurb for the day.

• The weekend wasn't nearly long enough, and I am dealing with some fruserating stuff. Once. Again.
  
• Barlow Girl's song "ONE MORE ROUND" pretty much explains my life right now. (Next to "Here's my life" and "Hold my heart" My life is just that explainable) But the song talks about going into a ring to fight. And she gets beaten and bruised by her enemy, but she keeps going back in.
• I think goes deep in two levels: We will have trials.
• And: No matter what, God will never put on us more than we can bare, and we'll be able to scrape ourselves off the floor and go in for another round.
• God is that corner man who will wipe the blood from our faces, who will give us something good and re-freshing to drink. He's not going to abandon us.
• I want to go back to Friday night prayer and re-live everything Ryan said. It is so true and so incredible.
• Enough said.

Today I cried, really hard, and I haven't cried for real in a really long time. Why did I cry you ask? Because of a book, and let me tell you I'm not one to cry at books no matter how sad or frustrating. Where the red fern grows? Nope, no tears just sadness. Night (Great book about the Holocaust)? Incredibly moving book but still no tears. What was the book I was reading? My sisters keeper. One of the best books I have ever read, and as I sat on my bed balling my eyes out hoping that no one would walk into my room and see me like this I was wondering, why am I crying now?

1. My family and I went over to our friends house for dinner and our neighbors were there, who have the cutest little kids.


2. Anyway, one of them goes to my dad and says "Are you a grandpa?" I thought that was really cute that he thought he was a grandpa, his hair is more grey than any other color and hes bald on the top of his head, we got a laugh out of that one.


3. And last night I went to a baseball game with my neighbors (Just can't get enough of them!) and the little girl Riley goes "Ding dong, who's there? Destiny!"


4. I don't even know where she heard that one, she did say something about bolt...


5. So now I really am tempted to talk about cross country because I said how at the course my goal was 25 min... Guess what I got? 24.05


6. I was beyond exited let me tell you! I know that this isn't really great news to anyone but me but that time means that I have officially dropped 6 minutes off of my original time!


7. I had another race two days ago and I was convinced that I was going to do really bad, I got out there and my legs were so tired from the hard workout that week I thought to myself, they don't want to do this but I do

8. So I pushed myself really really hard despite the groans of pain my legs would have been saying if legs could talk. I was proud for giving myself that much, just one good race.

That's really all I have to say and I'm afraid that if I talk for any longer people will start to think my posts are to long and stop reading them.

DON'T FEED THE WILD ANIMALS!

~A

Everyone has one eternity-changing experience, but every choice we make, everything we do, is a life-changing experience.
A lot of people seem to have moments that "change their life". Their first kiss, their first car, the birth of their baby sister. Life changing. But not eternity changing.
On Sunday I had my eternity changing experience.
If I were to dwelve on it, or write a long post about it, I couldn't. What I felt, what happened that night was so amazing I could write about it for years and not express everything. I can tell you that I cried. Really hard.
In my pew, smashed between two people I don't know, in the second row, the tears pricked at my eyelids, begging to have a taste of what bliss would be like. My mind wanted a part of what that was like too. So I let it go. My tears didn't just trickle down my face. They didn't just drop slowly one. by. one.
No, they flowed. They gushed. The ran down my cheeks and onto my shoulders, drenching my cheeks, soaking by four tissues that I crumpled in my hand in the weak attempt to keep them together.
But it felt good. Insanely, deeply, richly good.
Blurb for the day.

• Part of my eternity-changing moment had to do with a guy named Jerry. such an awesome guy. He has cerebral palsy and he said something I will never forget:

• And I couldn't help being like: "That is me. That is so me. I get that."
  
• Like Leah said: "Someone will love us because of those quirks, and weird things."
• God is that someone for me. I have always felt like God could never love me because I am not perfect. I mess up too much, and I can't always keep it straight. But that's why God loves us.
• He loves us because that's the way we are. And just like the person you will live with forever, they will accept you because they know you will me up, they know you won't be perfect, but you will try.
• That counts for more than anything.
• It's been kind of upsetting lately with the lack of blogging and commenting etc.
  
• School has been awesome. So great lately.
• In fact, I'm writing this from school. One my off hour. My two back two back off hours, actually. And I should be going to Starbucks, or getting cookies soon.
  
• Sigh. School. What a mouthful.
• Enough said.

So today we got a new TV for an early Christmas present from my grandma, (my dad and brother wanted it for football season) and as I walked into the house from graces house i saw it. I was very impressed, I asked if we had actually TV stations now and they said no. So this is where I actually get to the point, after they said that we still only had the basic channels (6, 12) I said

Right now I am uploading photos from last night onto facebook.
And updating the blog of course. I was thinking earlier about my life. (Yeah I know, save the lame jokes for later)
But my life is mine. I think a lot of that is going around right now. Grace is Grace. Leah is Leah. I know who I am, but now I have come to a realization that my life is mine. When you sit down and think about it, that's mind blowing.
Me. My life.
You can do whatever you want with your life. It's yours for the choosing, yours for the taking. We reach out and grab life, a gift God gives so freely, and we have free reign. If you ask me, that's really loving. God is God. He could have given us life, and forced us to live a certain way, to do exactly what he wants. But no, he lets us chose. Love doesn't get any better.
Which reminds me, I have been thinking about love a lot lately. A LOT.
On TV and stuff love is always physical. I was talking to Aundi about this earlier, but love is always portrayed as physical but really it's so much deeper. It's laying your life down for someone. It's knowing that person, being there.
Leah makes a good point. There is that one person who you will love forever, who you will share with you, who will love you because you're YOU.
Like I said, it's mind blowing.

• Last night I went to Grace's and hung out with Emma and her sister Abby (who, I may add is also my sister... small world.)
• We had a great time, taking pictures and all.
  
• I feel not-so-great right now.
• My older brother is now 17. That's so crazy to think, because I remember when he used to try pulling the heads off my Barbie dolls.
  
• It's weird to think that I want to ask him to try pulling the head off one of my Barbies... sad really.
  
• I'm really focused on God right now. Like a little lighthouse on the brain. Blink. Blink. Blink. I just can't stop thinking about Him lately.
• And my heart song, right now it's singing.... I think I will go listen to it because that's what I want and know will put my heart with God.
• Enough said.

Oh the irony of life.
So (don't you just love my snappy transition? So. It really packs a punch.) I went to plug my computer in so it could charge and as I shoved the plug into the socket I got that pretty blue spark. SO OF COURSE I have a slap-you-in-the-face moment and think of how cool it would be if I stuck my finger in the socket.
Like wow.

• My heart song has changed. Actually I have two heart songs right now. Barlow Girl's "Here's My Life" and "Hold My Heart" by Tenth Avenue North. The chorus goes like this:
  
  One tear in the driving rain,
  One voice in the sea of pain
  Could the maker of the stars
  Hear the sound of my breaking heart?
  One light, that's all I am
  Right now I can barely stand
  If You're everything You say You are,
  Would you come close and hold my heart?
  
  
• When I first heard that hot tears pricked my eyes and made their was down my cheek. It was so strong. Because honestly, most of the time it really feels like God's not there. Like he doesn't care. I just love where he asks God: Could the maker of the stars hear the sound of my breaking heart?
• I can't count how many times I have asked God that question. It seems like, "yeah, you made the stars, but you're so far away can you hear me? It's an awful long way to shout."
• But He's right behind us, whispering in our ear in that still small voice that we miss because we're so busy shouting and hearing ourselves we can't hear Him.
• So there you go. My heart song.
  
• I'm actually listening to it right now and my heart is swelling, trying to break out of my rib cage because it really hurts. That realization. A slap-you-in-the-face moment.
• That's all it takes.

Life is... I don't know... legit.
It's so real. Honestly, it's there, you're in it, but at the same time it's like it's not even happening.
Like the kid in the check out line who starts wailing because he wants a candy bar, and you're horrified to see a kid freaking out (um, hello? It's candy.) And so you're appalled and want to give that kid a piece of your mind, when it's all over. The kid has his candy bar and you're wondering why you're strangling the bananas.
Or when you get to high school, maybe even college, and wonder where the time went. Then sooner then you know it, you're sitting by a fireplace in a rocking chair, knitting socks for your 13 year old cat, swapping stories with the love of your life about "the good old days" and laughing because it's not truly funny, but because you can.
That's what life is. We don't realize how much passes us by until it's going 90 miles the other way.
We don't realize what we were missing until it was all sold out and the shelf in the store is empty.
We don't notice what we had until we don't have it.
Irony. It's the ingredient that makes it so bittersweet that we keep going back for more.
I read a poem recently and I had myself a good cry as I was in my bed before I was sleeping. Part of it goes like this:

The coconut that has been sitting on our counter for... oh... four days? Was finally drilled through and has three little straws sticking out of it like you would see in a juice commercial. I honestly just want to take it to my room and look at it because it looks so beautiful. Plus, Zach has stopped his crazy ranting about the coconut:
"When can we open the coconut?"
"Syd? What does coconut taste like? Is it good? Gee, I wish we could open it!"
"Mom! Mom! We should open the coconut right now! It would taste great with lemon bars!"

That's pretty much the way it went. Anyway. I feel really bad and awful and weird that I have not posted in... hmm... four days? It's crazy. Not that it's like life altering for you, faithful readers, in fact, for the few that read our blog often you were probably grateful for the break, and being able to read Emma's level-headed posts that actually makes sense, but still make you laugh!

• Homecoming, much to my amazement was much more fun than I thought it would be. However, after the third hour it got pointless. It was pointless to begin with, but then it got even more pointless. It's like Pastor Aaron said: "When you get close to God and have him mold your heart, those things stop appealing to you. You can dance and shout and scream to praise and worship music, because that has a purpose. Other music it's different." Which was SO true! I finally got to the point where I was like: Hmm... song I don't know! Why don't we jump (I am not kidding you, Homecoming night should be known as "The Night America Jumps." Not even kidding.
• But I did have fun with my friends, and thank you to Grace for the beautiful dress!!! (That's us in the picture by the way!)
  
• Though Emma knew every single song! That's some talent (now if only we could memorize our flash cards.....) just kidding.
• Today in History I don't know what was wrong with me, but I totally lost my mind. I think it's that whole post-sickness thing. (Speaking of which, major bed-riding-headache Sunday!) So, I was talking nonsense to Taylor, and I was freaking that I, the famous pencli hoarder, had lost my pencil, and it was ON MY DESK. Then I was gesturing to Kristen across the room (our history class sits in a giant circle) and a bunch of people thought I was talking to my imaginary friend.
• You got to love history class.
• I would love to share my Friday night with you. we had prayer, and it was absolutly phenominal! I won't be dwelving into it though, because everything I felt would spill out onto pages and pages and pages. It's in my journal though, so once I'm long gone, I promise you can read it and be encouraged too.
• Leah is me new pencil-pen-pal. Long story. Maybe some other day.
• Or you could read it in my journal. Once I'm gone. Only then.
• Enough said.

I am so exited for homecoming and I found a dress for 13 dollars so I am ready to go! Sydney even found a dress to wear so she should be super exited also but somehow I don't think that she is... Oh after the night she will be! I was just at my sisters soccer game and it was pouring rain for like an hour, but on the bright side they won by like 7. I felt kinda bad for the other team. I mean they're only nine. losing by that much can do something to your self esteem. It would to me, I know that for a fact. i also went to the homecoming parade and they throw candy at you so that was fun, not that i didn't like the actual parade... and we saw a little bit of the football game, when we left my school was winning by 40. that was really good. OK i really need to go and get ready, well maybe not yet but i just cant sit still!!!!!!!
~A

Chores are curious things. I never noticed it before, but they make you contemplate life a little bit.
My job was to clean Morgan and I's bathroom toilet (which wasn't all that dirty to begin with. But then again, it's a toilet. Ha. Ha. Ha)
So I started squirting the cleaning fluid into the toilet bowl while everything seemed so loud and it felt like someone was trying to drill a spike into my brain. And I thought to myself: You know, tonight's teen prayer. Tonight you are really tired, and in a great deal of pain. You should stay home and not go.
I was actually kind of appalled that I considered it for a second, you have to understand. I DON NOT feel well.
But as I looked into that toilet bowl contemplating my life, and all that was going on and all the junk I'm going through, I made a final decision. Nope. I thought to my crazy conscience. Not happening. I need this.
And I shut that sucker down HARD.
Because in my life, I have arrived at that point where everything is spinning around and around. Nothing's really... straight. And I didn't even need the stewardess to ring her little bell and say: "You have arrived."
I knew that. I could see the desert plain around, I could see my life stretching miles and miles ahead of me, and I didn't need a revelation. I knew and I was ready.

• A lot of people view me as "that girl". I've definitely noticed. It's... weird. But at the same time it's kind of relieving because it adds to the phrase "God has set me apart". Pretty incredible.
• I think this whole high school infatuation thing is being driven over board. SIGH. There are just some things in life I can't handle.
• Like guys. Please. Oh gosh. I think if I lived under a rock until I was twenty I would be SO good. Pretty much half the school is guys and trust me, worthy guys at that.
  
• I have to ask God: "Why did you make so many attractive guys God?"
• It's the question of the century.
  
• And I feel kind of, no really, weird talking about guys and whatnot on our blog.
  
• Anyway.
• I didn't really have a blurb for the day. It was more like: Crazy Contemplations To The Toilet Bowl.
• Amen?
• I think I have said enough. My homecoming dress situation is still dire. Sigh. Life. You gotta love it.
• Enough said.
  

Ok so I really want to say how much of an amazing writer that Sydney is. Her little blurbs are so serious and thoughtful. Some of them make me want to laugh and some of them make me want to cry and some of them just really make me think. About life. Because she makes points that seem so simple that I have never even though about before, and I will go to bed like, wow. She is really an amazing person. She is so dedicated to God and I really don't know how she finds time to read the bible, and do the blog, and go to church, and get straight A's.

I went to my friend graces house to watch project runway tonight and I had a blast because we both love that show and it is so fun to be able to watch it together and critique all that bad dresses and ooh and ahh at the good ones.

Really I am just blessed to have such amazing friends. I love all of you guys and Believe me I couldn't live without you.

I feel like its really late and I should be going to bed right now. Its 9:45, I have a race tomorrow and I am really exited and nervous. It should be an easier course then the other ones that I have already done so I am going to try to get a time of 27:30. That would be dropping 20 seconds off my time and that would be just great. Well since I have a race tomorrow I really need to go to bed. I hope everyone is having a great week!
~A

You know those little moments where you decide something in half a second, you're really nervous, and you think about regretting it but then you're like: "Hey! Let's do this!"
I had one of those moments today.
It was actually really interesting.
I don't want to go to homecoming. And when I asked my mom if we could get a dress and she said we wouldn't be able to, I had one of those snap decisions and I was like "That's it. I'm not going." And I almost broke down and cried because there's a part of me that wants to go, and there's that part of me that is holding back ALL THE WAY. If I have nothing to wear, I can't go. For some reason I don't think my skin sweater would fit the dress code.
Anyway. There's my sob story for the day.
I think that decision was from how sick I am. Today was the day where I reached that emotional-sickness point where I gave up on everything else and was like: "OK. Yeah, I get it. I'm sick and my body doesn't want to do this. But not everything goes my way!" I'm one of those people who will go to school dying and not think twice. (I actually did that in 7th grade. I wasn't dying but I wasn't well either! I had a fever of 103 and I just went to school. I ended leaving during second period because I couldn't talk and my arms wouldn't stop shaking.)
Anyway.
Which leads me into my next point.
God. Sigh. What an interesting guy. He made the path to righteousness so easy, yet so hard. I get SO angry at myself because I feel that sometimes I live that double life. Because I have failed a couple times, or kept on messing up I feel like I've muffed everything. But that's not really true. Everyone has those days. Everyone messes up. Everyone is going to fall short of the glory of God. But that's why there's "Forgiveness/ and a second chance..."
Blurb for the day.

• I pretty much lost my mind on sixth off today. I was doing my homework-no wait... scratch that- I was supposed to be doing my homework but I couldn't concentrate and I think a fever was kicking in so my mind went haywire and I couldn't focus on anything. I checked out a computer, I turned it back in five minutes later. I went to get a dictionary, I grabbed a thesaurus. I was text messaging my mom and I was reading the message out loud in the library.
• It was awful. Then I was really thirsty so I bought juice and downed that in like, three seconds.
• There you go. My day in a nut shell.
• I just realized, this post is long. Really long. I've only been typing for like... ten minutes?
  
• Tonight I am reading my bible. Point blank. I mean, I read my bible every night, but tonight, man I am going to do it. I just need it right now. My tank is running low. I just need something.
• So the bonfire last night was pretty fun but overrated. I mean, it caught fire, it got really big, and ten minutes later it was just a little lump of smoldering wood.
• Well, I came, I saw, I conquered, I left. That was pretty much it. With a lot of pictures and laughter in between.
• Enough said.

And the seasons they go round and round

I think that laughter makes the world go round.
Leah was just talking to me about that. We never realize it, but it's the little things in life that make life bearable. They make life, life. Even if God fills you with joy, you have those down days but he's still there giving you the little things. That's incredible isn't it? God thinks of everything. And we take those great things for granted! The song is true: Our God is an awesome God he reigns/ From Heaven above/ with wisdom, power and love/ Our God is an awesome God.
Blurb for the day.

• Bonfire tonight. GIANT bonfire tonight and I'm going with all my friends! I hope it will be fun!
  
• My nose is running (I never got that phrase... noses run??) but I'm getting over my sickness somewhat and it's like leaking. I think i am going to lose all my bodily fluids. The tissue box is my new best friend.
• That picture up there by the way is from when we went to Emma's and it is NOT posed! Isn't it just beautiful?! For those of you who don't know, those are my 5 closest friends. I love them to death!
• We're having grilled turkey and cheese tonight, obviously an American food... I hope it's good! And thank you Sonia (what happened to the great 3 comments daily?? just kidding!) We will both look into vlogging because it looks like loads of fun!
• I have never EVER been able to spell the word obviously. Obviously. Amen for spell check!!!
• My french class is like, the best place in school. We have so much fun! And Adam helped me on my work sheet, which is really shocking because he's always the one turning around to ask me what my answers were! But you know? Team work? It makes the world go round.
• Apparently a lot of things make the world go round nowadays. (HA! GRACE'S WORD! NO WAY!)
• Freddie Highmore... no just freddie... We're on first-name basis here!
• Enough said.
  

It's so weird knowing that the world is really small. REALLY small.
I met someone today who knew this other person who knew another person who lived across the ocean that I knew!
That's just insane. I mean think about that. You could see the person you are to marry at the grocery store and not even know it. Crazy? I think so.
I was thinking about God today while I was editing my English partner Dan's paper. I had one of those "smack you in the face" moments.
My life is a story. It's written out, plain as day. But there are mistakes, cracks. But God, the ultimate teacher, is there with his red pen, the ink his blood that he shed for me. And he takes that blood and fixes the mistakes. In those big bold letters, it's there and it washes away all the past mistakes. W
ho knew red was such a beautiful color?
Blurb for the day.
PEARLS OF WISDOM. Amen!

• Apparently, now I'm going to our school dance. I'm going with a group of friends, and it should be fun. Still?
• I had this really REALLY good frozen strawberry lemonade today and, if there was such thing as heaven on earth, that was it!
• Maybe that's a little over-dramatic. Yet it was so good!
  
• I need more books. i have read (and re-read) EVERY SINGLE book on my bookshelf. That's one darn extensive book shelf! New books! It's like a chant in my head. I have a book-addicted concience and I can hear it calling to me: "Sydnnneeeeeyyy..... Sydneyyyyyy... you neeeeed tooo reaaadd a boooooook!!!! Booooooooooookkkkk...."
• This is one of those moments where I wish I had a newspaper and could swat that little guy like a fly.
• Anyway.
• I would like to let everyone know that Grace makes me laugh SO hard. All my friends do... sigh. God has blessed me SO much with my friends! Honestly, I couldn't have better friends!
  
• I'm sick right now. Physically sick. I was joking with Leah about having swine flu (those crazy Americans) but it was funny. Yet my throat hurts and I have a slight fever. Last night I woke up burning up and I rolled over to the side of my bed and the spot I had been in was HOT.
  
• Well I think this isn't that deep. But I honestly can't think straight right now. That whole sick-hallucination thing.
  
• And one final question. I would like to ask ALL you faithful blog readers a question: How would you like it if Emma and I did some vlogging (video logging) every once and a while?? Comments??
• Enough said.

I'm glad that everyone enjoyed my last post (or at least two people). I think they're better that way. It was short and I really felt the point I wanted to get across. I loved it too. Last night we had church, it was a little hurried, but during prayer I really felt something.
And it brought me to my knees. You can't be half way. You either finish the race or you don't. And as I prayed and begged God for something, anything I felt it.
I can't explain but it was like someone took their thumb and pressed it hard against my heart. It's like, when you press your thumb to a bruise, it hurts.
But that pain doesn't last.
When you scrape yourself, as it heals, the skin burns and you feel like the pain isn't worth that one scratch. But it's your body repairing yourself. That's what God does with our hearts. I finally realized that. The immediate pain is just that, pain. And you wonder why it hurts so much. But it's God repairing that broken heart. It's just a jigsaw puzzle and he has to keep trying to fit the right pieces.
Blurb for the day.

• Emma and Grace are back from camping! JOY!!!
• I noticed that the longer a webpage, the shorter the scroll bar... cool?
• I went to work with my father today.
• By George, I say WAY too many ones today! (Get it? That was a joke. One's... George is on the one...)
• Anyway.
  
• Tomorrow we have school. And actually, I'm kind of sick. I woke up this morning and my throat was killing me. It felt like I had swallowed a grape fruit. Then I drank three water bottles and two Coke glasses of water. Needless to say I had to go to the bathroom one too many times today.
• Apparently birds rip their babies feathers (also known as down) out so their adult feathers can grow in. A PAINFUL PROCESS! The only reason I figured that out was because we were walking into a store and all these little baby birds were screeching and little baby feathers were floating to the ground like snow.
• Majestic, minus the whole shrieking baby thing. Tis a sad thing. You win some you lose some.
• School tomorrow (I believe I already said this..?) School. School.
  
• I think I've been brain washed.
• And don't you think it's a wee bit rude of Nick to want a dislike button on facebook?! That boy. I say.
• I really have nothing to say. Sad isn't it? I can talk up a storm when I'm not on the computer but after that, it's like, void. My brain goes on shut down.
  
• Of course I keep thinking about school (school??). Then again, you already knew that.

It's weird how your body as a body is capable of things you never thought possible of your little body. I can think thoughts that I would not think. I can do things I don't do. Yet there's that choice on whether you're going to, or are not going to do so.
It's like, anyone can pick up a guitar and strum it. They can pluck those strings until their fingers fall off. But it takes a person to take that guitar and do more than just fiddle around. It takes a person to go out and take lessons. It takes a person to take that guitar and learn how to play it, not just play it.
So that's the way my life is. I'm asking for God, I'm picking up this guitar, and it's up to me what I do with it.
Blurb for the day.

• In answer to Leah and Sonia's question: the pictures that I have recently been posting on the blog are, with many thanks, from Liss, a photographer from Australia. Clap your hands, please.
• My heart song at the moment is Barlow Girls "Here's my life". That song is so deep, and so beautiful, how can you not love it? I think the thing that really gets me is when they sing this:
  
  "And God I'm crying out tonight/ Cause I've given you my life/ But I'm tired and I'm missing what's behind/ So once more here's my life"
  
• That's my total heart song. She is literally giving it over to God. Is she nervous and afraid? Heck yeah. Despite that, however, she's not letting it get in her way and she's crying out, giving him her life.
• Inspiring? I think so.
• I went to the art museum today and it was a very cool experience!
• Last night my brother had his birthday party... he's not a little boy anymore :(...
• Anyway. We went Go Carting and all that jazz and it was so so fun! But we were out until 12:30 and I was dragging this morning. My dad started calling me Ms. Grumpy Gills.
• All I have to say is at least I don't have gills like.... somebody. I. Know.
  
• Emma was, to say the least, shocked when I wrote that she was a gifted/ talented writer on this blog.
  
• UM... HELLO?! Emma, I know you're going to read this so listen good: You are one darn good writer! Don't you dare ever think different!!!
• Ok. I'm done.
  
• Comments are always appreciated!

Right now I'm in my English class and were supposed to be adding gadgets to iGoogle but I already have a bunch of different ones so I decided to get on here and express my nervousness. I have my first real cross country meet today after school and I really really want to do good. This one person on the team said, "I'm not nervous because I don't know whats coming", That was before I have ever run the course, now I have and I know how hard it really is. There are two water jumps where you have to jump over the creek and if your legs arn't long enough (Which is like, everyone) then you have to get in the water which then makes your shoes really really wet for the rest of the course. None the less, as scared as I am I'm also really exited. The more the people there are, the more fun it is. Well class is almost over so I have to go! Wish me Luck!!!
Don't feed the wild animals!
~A
(I'm going camping over the long weekend so I'll be gone until Monday)

You know? I wrote two posts today (technically 1 1/2 because my last one I started yesterday.) But I'm not really that concerned, because when I want to write I'm going to write!!! So ha. ha. ha.
Anyway.
I have to say I envy the way Leah writes her posts. And Sonia. And Emma. And Grace. (No offense to you Morgie, but, I listen to you everyday. My life is like, your blogs. Or what you say in them!)
But really! All those people are so, so gifted then there's me. It's like I'm standing in a room full of great/awesome people and I say hello: "Hello." And NOBODY hears you.
That's the way I feel.
Blurb for the day? I think not. That wasn't deep. (Then again, nor are half the other things I say. You win some you lose some.)

• I don't want anything right now. Nothing, I am perfectly content in the natural where I stand.
  
• I haven't hung out with Emma, just a few of us, in three weeks. That. Is. Upsetting.
• Something is gnawing on my heart right now. It's like nibbling away at what I know and believe and I want. It. OUT!
  
• I have been having weird imaginations. I'm starting to freak out. I don't like it, it's totally not like me, and I DON'T LIKE IT! It sometimes makes me wonder how things like this wiggle their way to my brain in the first place...?
• Through extensive-brain-stretching thinking I have come up with a plan. I think it rather brilliant. I am going to tape a paper bag or box up. Then I'm going to scrawl GOD in big bold letters on the front. Then I'm going to write on pieces of paper my cares, concerns etc. on paper and drop it in there. What do you think?
• I came up with this because 1: my weird imaginations. God where are you? That's what it feels like. Now he can be stuck to my wall. And 2: because I can't talk to him like I can talk to my sister or friends. I want him there.
  
• Anyway.
• Didn't everyone just LOVE LOVE LOVE Emma's last post?! I liked how she put the feeling of running and all that stuff. She is a gifted writer!!! It's just that... well... everyone has their days.
• Enough said.
  

• I've been having odd imaginations. Odd.
• So today we had an interesting experience! Grace, Danielle and I were walking to science class and the signifigant other I was talking about earlier was there. So Grace and Danielle didn't know what he looked like so all cool and suave I was like: "that's him"
• So OF COURSE Grace stops and stares then runs up to me and is like: ooooh! Then Danielle turns around and they're looking right at us
• See? This is why the whole high school infatuation thing doesn't work.
• I am still not dating. The words "wait for the Lord" are playing in my head and I refuse to disobey God. He knows my future better than I know the back of my hand.
• I never got that phrase "like the back of your hand". Who knows what the back of their hands look like anyway? I think the phrase should be "like my face." or something. Most people know what their face looks like.
• Anyway.
• I think High School has been a really eye-opening and heart-tugging thing for me. I know I haven't been in it that long, but it really has changed my life. For the better. I have really begun to lean on God through the whole thing and understand he has a will for me. I have learned to guard my mind and heart. There has been that signifigant other, people who can't control their mouths. Influences come from every direction. But I have to ignore them. I need to honor God and show him I am stronger than all that.
• Not only that, but I have made new friends. When I say friends I mean two specifically that I think I shall become very close to (or at least I hope). They're Kristen and Taylor. They're both so sweet and fun and, I have to say, I love the way Kristen talks. She seems to mull over her thoughts as they come out and so it comes out slow and choppy. But I find it so cool.
• Then of course, Taylor has the coolest hair. Really, envious hair.
• Makes me covet. Back to the drawing board.
• For me, the drawing board translates to "THE BIBLE."
• I miss my fridentical twin on the blog...
• Enough said.

Trip, Ace & Demo,

~A&A

Right now, I am supposed to be waiting for Emma to post a blog. I'm supposed to be patiently contemplating the meaning of life (not something I'm gifted at) while Emma's post is supposed to be popping up on the blog.
But I'm not the most patient person ever. (Though I have been praying for patience and, man God is one humorous guy! Ha. Ha.)
Nor can I get on the computer ho-hum like Emma.
Tis a sad world sometime, but life isn't always full of choices.
So you win some you lose some.
So, if you can't tell, I broke all the supposed to rules and un-supposed because that's just the way I am.
I guess it's because for me, my life has been full of waiting. I wasn't born into a family where asking for something and BAM! there it is even existed (if that makes any sense)
Sydney, you have to wait four more months for a baby sister.
Sydney, you need to wait until we get your brother his clothes before you get yours.
Syd, you need to wait. Mommy's coming.
Sydney, didn't I tell you to wait for your brother at the front of the store? (But mom, this is the other side of the front of the store.)
You need to wait until your mother gets better. (they really meant to say: you need to wait until we know what we're doing or she's going to die.)
I don't mean to complain. I honestly don't. But I always feel like I'm waiting. Waiting for my calling. Waiting for My God. Waiting for Prince Charming to come and sweep me off my feet. When all I want is something BAM! and it happens.
The truth is, I'm tired of waiting. There are moments, much like these where I don't want to wait any longer.
In truth, I just need someone to talk to. Someone besides my family. Because, I have realized, it's those people who won't think you crazy when you've shed that last tear. They're the people who won't look at you funny for another hour after you screamed, kicked, threw papers around the room wondering if this is the person they knew.
But, when I take a moment to stop and think, God is waiting too. He's waiting for his children to come home, into his open arms. He's waiting for us to realize that we can't do it alone. He's waiting. And he knows what's going on. In Psalm the bible says this: