Saturday, 8 August 2009
I was really thinking about what lovely said in her comment on my last post. It's like, through the fire, through the rain, after we "water our couches" we smile. Because we can't help but notice that trough all the pain, there's that one smile...
After I've Cried My Last There Will Be Beauty From Pain...
I think a smile is one dang beautiful thing!
Anyway.
- I went to Lauren's house last night and I just had so much fun! I really did enjoy my time there and I wouldn't trade our friendship for the world.
- Today is the day my mother passed away. In fact, I think right about now we were sitting in the hospital waiting room. Me watching my purple, grape Popsicle slowly melt and drip down onto my hand onto my blue dress. With flowers embroidered in it.
- It's weird how now, 6 years later, I am still not totally over it.
- Like, I have no problem with my mom now. I love her so so much. But there's still that part of me that isn't ready to let go.
- I don't think I will really ever be able to let go.
- And now when I cry, or remember I wonder why she had to go. Why she had to teach me a lesson by leaving and never coming back.
- And then I read Ecclesiastes 3:3
and a season for every activity under heaven:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance..."
- It's just one of those things that I think we will never understand, at least I will never understand, but I have to move on, and understand that there's more to life than going through everyday. It's LIVING.
- I will always remember the poem my brother, Ryan, wrote and read at my mother's funeral.
"The pain and sadness we felt before her time. But I know her staying in heaven, won't cost a dime."
~Yours Truly
- I have always remembered when He read those last words.
- Sigh.
- There's life for you.
- And I am sure a lot of you think that my posts are getting terribly long. I suppose they are, but I just have a lot to write.... hmmm...
~Yours Truly
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
If there was ever a blog post that has ever made me want to cry, it's this one. I'm in fact very close, except for the fact that I'm sitting in my kitchen with my mom.
I was actually thinking about that this morning when I woke up. I thought "Gee, I'm so thankful for my mom" and then I remembered that six years ago you lost the person that i so often take for granted.
Sydney, I really think that one day you'll know the reason why God allowed you to go through this. One day you'll finally understand, because I bet that you'll make a HUGE difference for other people in the future who have to deal with this too. But till then, I keep praying for you, Morgan and Ryan, and the rest of your family for that peace to always be with you guys.
So I definietly have tears in my eyebballs now. Sydney, from the little bits and pieces that I know you, you are such a strong woman of God!!
You and Morgan both. I am praying for you guys!
Post a Comment