BubbleTwins

Dude, this is insane. (Please excuse me if you aren't a dude and that offended you) Words cannot describe how I am feeling right now. My thoughts are running all around my head tripping over each other, and making me go berserk. Honestly, I want to just shout and let them know how I'm feeling.
Why the freak out?
It's almost a new year, and I just came home from my loooong trip to California, I miss my family, I don't think I'm ready for schooling to come back around. Did I mention I miss my family?

• So, I realized I never told you Faithful Readers about Winter Blast. For this, I am truly sorry. So much happened, it would be an insanely long post, and I'm not sure that would work out too great.
• Well, I had a wonderful time in California. I can't describe all of it but lets say it was tons of family, laughter, joy, and fun fun fun. I love my family, honestly and truly I really do!
• I have realized a series of things
  
  1. Pandora has a wonderful knack of playing the best songs in the world.
  2. BarlowGirl's most recent album (Love&War) is by far one of the best albums I have heard in my life.
     
  3. Sparkling Cider is indeed quite tasty.
  4. I was separated from my cousin at birth (i know it's true. There is no doubting this!)
  5. I really like the beach.
  6. High School Musical songs fit into any part of your life. Creepy? I believe so.
• Seriously though, my sister just turned 16 while we were in California, and I started singing. My parents asked me what time it was, I started singing. We're taking family pictures on the beach holding hands, I start singing. It's way too crazy.
• So, Christmas. An amazing holiday. I have never spent it away from home before and it was beautiful! I loved it.
• One thing I got was a cherry red iPod and I loved it. God is so wonderful. A lot of people don't get to celebrate Christmas in the privileged way I do, and he has blessed me beyond imagination.
• And now, onto the new year.
• Words cannot describe.
• Have a blessed new year, and drink all the tasty cider you can handle!

Have you ever had one of those moments where you feel something so... amazing that you can't even describe it. You can't put to words how you feel, or what your emotions are. They're just THERE and they make you feel amazing. But you can't share with anybody. That's how I feel right now.
I suppose it's the feeling of love, one I have not felt before. Sure, I feel love from my family ALL THE TIME (you don't even know!) but this is love at its best. True love. Pure love. Love from my Creator. And I cannot describe it. The words dance like crystals on my lips but I can't share them with people, or put the diamonds in their ears.
I was reading my Bible at Winter Blast up in Winter Park this weekend (best weekend of my life, you'll learn about it in another post) and I stumbled upon a verse made for me:

Well, the blogging craze, has somewhat slowed down. I’m really curious how one attracts followers? It is indeed a quite wondrous thing and one that I lay in bed wondering about at night (so I don’t really have that much to ponder about in that great brain of mine. Sue me.)

• The reading strike still on and well… man it is tough. But as it says in the Good Book “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will…” (Romans 12:2)
• Sadly, nobody said renewing of the mind would be exactly easy.
• Just like putting together a ship in a bottle!
• I have always wanted to do that, but have never been able because
  a) I have been unable to acquire one…
  b) If I did acquire one, it could be dangerous for my health because I might just blow a blood vessel in frustration.
• This is why I have to work on patience.
• Isn’t it ironic that when we pray for patience, or we say we want to be more patient (say for your New Years Resolution) we get thrown the annoying patience-testing scenarios and fail miserably?
• As I have said before, God has a sense of humor.
• (SIDE NOTE: I am sitting next to my sister while typing this blog! Woo! SIDE NOT OVER!)
• Anyway… so as I believe I have said before my not-so-new pen (cil)-pal, Lovely Leah has been a great encouragement in my life! Not only that but she makes me laugh extremely hard! I just wanted to thank her in cyber-space.
• My shift key is being rather annoying right now.
• And now, in closing of every blog, I have decided to write one thing about myself. Have a little blogger-Faithful Reader connection going. I might even start a bucket list… hmm…

Trip, Ace & Demo,

~A&A

Sometimes, when I can’t fall asleep I think of floating on clouds. La la la…
What do you do when you can’t find sleep?

Well there goes my whole blogging thing. I have been finding it increasingly harder to blog everyday now! Don't worry though, Faithful Readers, you were not forgotten and I try my hardest, I really do.

• Christmas time is here. I guess that makes a lot of people think of presents and family time and ham (oooh ham...) but it makes me think of crowded malls, snow boots, scarfs, snowflakes, and CALIFORNIA!
• I have not gone to California in the longest time and I can not wait to see my family again! They live so far away, and it's not exactly easy visiting!
• I have gone on a reading-strike. Mainly because I have found there is nothing good to read. As much as you read, especially by non-christian authors, pollutes your mind. Or it pollutes my mind. And I just need a break. A breather. I need to get back on track.
• I've also gone on a no-spending money-spree. Dear. Goodness.
• And yes, to many, many people amazement, I have quite drama. I am totally, completely and utterly through with it. It's going to be extremely hard to do. Because there is part of me that wants to hold on like a pit-bull and never let go. However, God has taken the liberty of changing my heart, and I asked him to have his way and he started.
• God has a sense of humor.
• You know what I also realized about Christmas time? Starbucks. They're taking over the world. There is one across the way from my school, there is yet another one near my house. There is one by my church. There is one in the mall. I bet you, that the first store that will open in space will be a Starbucks.
• Personally, its coffee isn't even that good...
• Burnt. It's burnt coffee. Charbucks anyone?
• Did you know, I have a dictionary in my bedroom?
• It might be an un-healthy thing because I look up thousands of words I don't know, then go around spouting my new-found knowledge.
• Like: A snail can sleep for three years (talk about catching some Z's)!
• A person over fifty has spent approximately five years of their life waiting in line (that, my friends, is a looong time!)
• The plastic thing on the end of your shoelace is called an 'aglet' (who knew?)
• Barbie's full name is Barbera Millicent Roberts (Millicent??)
• If you yelled for 8 years, 7months, and 6 days you would have produced enough energy to heat one cup of coffee (hardly seems worth it)
• Well, I have to say on my part: When am I to use that information? Maybe one day I can walk up to some guy in Hyde Park and tell him that a snail could sleep for three years.
• I am sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, he would be overjoyed with his new-found information.
• Other than that, Dear Readers, I have not much to say.
• God is changing my heart at a slow pace, and it's amazing to see the results.
• As a wonderful person once told me: If it was easy, it wouldn't be.

Trip, Ace & Demo,

~A&A

Dear Mr. Christopher Columbus,

I would like to inform you that you are terribly misinformed about some things. As far as I can tell you did not "find" the new world. To find something, clearly, it must be lost in the first place. As far as I can tell North America wasn't lost, simply hiding. That, or the simple fact that you were all scared out of your wits that you would fall off the world. (Really?)
Also, what is now known as America wasn't in reality a new world. It wasn't a real world at all, just a place inside the world. It was just a hunk of rock that your little ship landed upon. I personally feel sorry for the people aboard, eating stale bread and having to put up with you.
The Indians (aka Native Americans) were here before and I find it quite rude that you didn't even ask them if they minded you trespassing on their lush green land with you diseases and smelly shipmates!
Well that is all, I hope you consider this and roll in your grave a couple times to get the blood flowing, you can get really stiff and even have blood clots from sitting in one position for so long! And if anyone asks, this letter was sent back in the 1400s.

Trip, Ace & Demo,

~Yours Truly

P.S. I needed to lighten my mood. Comments? Read Isaiah 50!

Well as Sydney stated in the post below my computer was broken and... it's now fixed! I thought there was a piece missing out of the side that was making it not turn on but it turns out there never was a piece in the side. Shows how observant I am.
I had an amazing thanksgiving holiday let me tell you. I was so happy that I could spend it with m friends and family (Although my twin wasn’t there...). I am really so thankful for everything I have. I would like to recognize those things below

• My family, they are so supportive and never fail to amaze me whether it’s with their bad jokes or caring hugs.
  


• My friends, I love them to the ends of the earth. I would do anything for any one of them; they truly make life worth living.
  


• My health, lots of people have been getting sick with different things and my heart goes out to those families who had to spend the holiday in the hospital. (I once had to spend Christmas in the hospital)
  

Anyway, it would be cool if you guys could post comments about what you are most thankful for. And as Grace pointed out to me because Thanksgiving is over we are officially allowed to start singing Christmas music. And I have been practicing playing my Christmas music on the Piano. I am so excited for Christmas. Not just for the day but for the season. I love driving at night seeing all of the lights on the houses, I love listening to all the music that is played in the stores, and I love buying gifts for people and seeing their reaction when they open them. Everything about it is just so happy. The day after thanksgiving we put up our light and I love them so much. We put up a ton of them and they look really cool. I like knowing that I helped create a masterpiece!

Over the break I dog sat for two different houses and let me tell you, that was an adventure. The first house had two dogs that were HUGE and whenever I opened the door they would bark at me like I was going to try to hurt them or something. Then they would realize it was just me and they would run to the back door so they could go to the bathroom. Then the second house I was at had a tiny little dog that was sort of like a Pomeranian and another that is so old she can barely see or hear, but they have this waterfall in the backyard which is so so so pretty. It has three different sections and at the bottom there is a pond. Behind the water are these light that light the whole thing up with changing colors. I could have sat there for hours and watched it. I love dog sitting, except the part where you have to get up early so that you can go and let them out. But something about being in a house alone with dogs is so calming.
Until next time...

~A

Well, I have to say I am terribly sorry for my unexcused absence from this blog, as well as Emma's (for those of you who don't know, my twins computer is not working thus she is unable to get on the blog until the repairs are made. Thank you for your thoughtful understanding!)
I myself was gone, with my family for the wonderful holiday of Thanksgiving! I hope you all had amazing holidays, whether you celebrate Thanksgiving or not!
We have so much to be thankful for.
Food.
Clothing.
Shelter.
Friends.
Family.
Love.
LIFE.
It's amazing to me how we can go through life and not know what we are thankful for. There are people in Africa and Mexico, impoverish nations who are more thankful than we ever could be.
I heard the story of a women which brought tears to my eyes. The woman had four children and they were on the verge of starvation and had barely enough to get by. The shack that they lived in was just that, a shack. The man went to the woman and said to her this:
"Ma'am if I could give you one thing- anything- what would you like?"
The woman thought for a moment then looked at the man with smiles dancing in her eyes "I would really like a window."

A window. That woman could have had anything yet all she wanted was a window. How selfless is that? Even if you don't have that pair of shoes you really want, or you weren't able to go the theatre with your friends, think of how much you have to be thankful for. How much you already have.
So let's hear what you have to say: WHAT ARE YOU THANKFUL FOR?

Trip, Ace & Demo,

~A&A

P.S. Read Proverbs 31 and Psalm 31

Human beings hate to wait.
I hate to wait.
And we are SO good at being impatient.
Is it not easy to complain, to throw a tantrum? To toss things around in anger and frustration, only to find that, in the end, we're in the same place we started. You can walk in a circle all you want, but you'll still end up in the same place.
Why do we walk so, and try so, when we find ourselves empty? Why do we climb back on the same roller coaster when we know it's the one that makes us sick, when it's the one that makes us want to get off the moment we get off?
There is a moment in everyone life-maybe even multiple moments-where the task seems impossible,where the task is so unbearable that you feel retarded. Those are the moments where you have to sit down and WAIT.
You don't walk outside during a tornado, you wait it out.
Life is like one big long car ride. You're behind the wheel. At some moments you'll be cruising right along, faster than 80 kph, the wind blowing through your hair, and the air, the sweet sweet air all around you. Then there will be the moments where you get in a car accident, and you didn't even know it. You have to go in for repairs, and get fixed up and it's not fun. Money has to be forked over, and you really just don't. Want. To.
Then there are the moments when we're been cruising for so long we hit bad traffic. And the going is slow and tough, and we want to just get out of our car and walk, because you'll get there faster.
Race cars drive fast, but in a circle. And no matter how much the loop around and around, they end up in the same place as before. This is where the rubber meets the road. Now.
Trip, Ace & Demo,

~Yours Truly

P.S. Write something. Anything, really. Whatever you are thinking, feeling, write it down.

Decisions are funny. Everyone has had that moment where you make a decision, and there it is. It's set in stone. You're not going back. That's the way it was when I chose to believe in God and live for him and walk with him. There was no going back for me. Because God is limitless, He was and still is EVERYTHING I need. Take the deepest part of the ocean, multiply it by infinity, and God is still beyond that. I love that quote. You can't put limits on God, you can't shove him in a box, or ask him to wear skin. He is everything you need. He provides for sparrows, which are sold for half a penny, how much more will he provide for me? I cannot fathom love like that, yet it's the love I walk in every day. I'm not perfect. I slip up all the time. But God's love is never ending. Like in Benjamin Gate's song "All Over Me" when they sing:

Wave come, wave fall
Cast me on your broken shore
Sun come, sun fall
Cast me on your love so warm

Jesus' love is
Jesus' love is

Chorus:
All over me, all over me
Your love is all over me
All over me, all over me
Your love is . . .

Christ come, Christ crawl
Nailed to a cross so tall
All come, all fall
All walk with hearts so torn

Jesus' love is
Jesus' love is

God's love is all around us. All over us. I love that.
Take the deepest part of the ocean, multiply it by infinity, and God is still beyond that.

Trip, Ace & Demo

~God's Beloved

P.S. Read Hebrews 10

Curious enough, but I have a new favorite song.
Which I find kind of weird because I haven't had a new favorite song since... well, a very long time. The song makes me want to cry and sing and dance all at once. Because I really think that God is in it. It's not a heartbreaking song, nor is it extremely slow.
It's Me. It's God. The song goes like this:

Seeing through a hole in time
looking at this world of mine
all the words we've had to say
all the dreams to light the way
it's been fine though we've been apart
but it's only just begun
far away from home
but baby I'm not alone

Lift me up
turn me around
got to get my feet off the ground

Lift me up
turn me around
sunrises in black and blue
sunsets say I love you
You said I had strength to stand my ground
said I had wings to fly
far away from home
but baby I'm not alone
and everyday away hurts a little more
But every day away is easy to ignore.

The song is "Lift Me Up" by Benjamin Gate. For me, it just brings so much promise. God is here, he's going to light the way. I'm not alone. My life is falling down, the sunrise is bruised, but you gave me wings to fly. I'm not alone. He'll lift you up, He'll turn you around. He'll pick your feet up off the ground so you won't trip on a rock. It says in Psalm 63:3:

Blogging helps wrap up my life in a funny sort of way, and yet I haven't blogged in... five days? I find that a little upsetting considering the fact that BLOGGING IS LIKE MY DIARY FOR GOODNESS SAKE!!!! However, I think that it's nice to get back on and just... type. Like:

Dear World,
Hello. I'm back, it's me again. Did you miss me?
Love,
Me

And I have SO much to say. I find it somewhat ironic that what pastor Gary Oliver preached on was right in line with my Five Minute Challenge I have been preparing. And during service I was like"whoa, that's amazing!" Then you stop and think and God's timing is PERFECT. I do not know a person on this Earth that pops up with exactly what I need when i need it. It's as if God, sitting on his throne with his waxed mustache (so in some of my dreams God looks like Antonio Banderas... sue me.) and he's says:

"Well, she's ready. She thinks I'm not watching or listening, ho ho ho, boy will she get a surprise."

And He LOVES doing that because we're worth it and his love is never ending. In Psalm is says

Have you guys heard that song? Sunday Sunday!!!! It's a cool song really, I got to sing it last year in choir and it sounded pretty good. So I was thinking of something meaning full to say but it's kid of hard when all you do is hang out all day and do chores. yes, story of my Sunday. Which is why I brought up the song. How does Sydney think of something people actually want to hear? All I can think of is what I did today. Maybe that's why she had the idea of starting the blog. Maybe that's why shes writing a book. Because she has so much to say. So much voice. So much to envy. Oh yes, like her acting skills. I'm going to really need her help because she convinced me to try out for the play. I'm actually really excited for that because i think that getting involved in school is really important and I decided that I should get involved. I think that the only time I actually acted is in fifth grade when I was the queen in the school play. I had like two lines but the entire play I had to stand on the stage wishing that I was playing the princess who had waaaaayy more lines then I did. Katie was the lucky girl who got that part and I was so mad I didn't try out to be the princess. I'm not going to let that happen again. Wasn't that a great story? I'm done with that little rant now so you can all take a deep breath.

In my language arts class we are acting out a book called Inherit the Wind. I'm not sure if you guys have heard of the Scopes Monkey Trial? Probably not, but that's what the book is about. So what the scopes trial about is this man named John T. Scopes who taught evolution in the classroom. (This was in the 1920s) And there was a HUGE trial about how it went against this law in Tennessee that basically says "You must not teach anything that goes against what the Bible says." Well he obviously didn't follow that law and people were not very happy with him. I thought that was kind of interesting. I'm excited to see what happens at the end.
This is a short post and I feel kind of bad, like I'm jipping Sydney out of our deal.
Sorry Syd but that's all I have to say right now.
~A
Please comment, it makes me feel better, like we actually have an audience... or do we...

Right now, I'm just... me.
I'm in this weird area where I know God is preparing me for a battle, a big battle that is coming up. Yet, I'm OK with that. I know it's going to be painful, but I feel fine. Oddly enough, I feel removed from the situation. Like, it's not my burden to bear. God holds it, and though I'm going to experience some pain, it's for God, and He's allowing it. Like Ryan said, your suffering isn't without reason. I think that's so amazing.
God gives and takes away, yet He always gives more than He takes.

Trip, Ace & Demo,

~Yours Truly

P.S. Read Matthew 10

Ok so it is day 2 of this whole blog every day thing, sydney came over today and we had a blast! Even though the visit didn't last long because she had to work on her project. I cherish every time i spend with any of my friends. Today when I was i choir she had us switch seats around so I was front and center which made me really happy because I had a great view of the inside of the piano, which is like one of the coolest things I have ever seen. If you have never seen the inside of the piano, i encourage you to do so. When she was playing I almost forgot to sing, I just kept staring at the tons and tons little hammers panging on the tons and tons of little strings wondering who could have possibly come up with this brilliant idea? Because whoever did, I'm impressed. And that is the one thing that I don't like about my piano, you cant see the beautiful inside. But I love it all the same.

I'm having a real problem with what to write about. I had an idea but i just lost it and I'm really having troubles but I told sydney I would do it and I intend to do so.

I have to share about my finding of cloning. We watched a very intriguing movie. It was all about how there is a scientist who wanted to change lives by curing diseases and helping people who are paralyzed to become unparalyzed. He was going to try to clone human stem cells so that they could form into whatever the patient needed. He was giving the scenario about how if someone got in a car accident and their kidney or heart was damaged beyond repair they could take a sample of the persons DNA and just make them a new one. Replace the old one and then the person who was destined to die is good as new. But I'm not sure if I'm ok with the whole idea.

I know that this was a really short post and as soon as I publish it I will probably think of the think I forgot that I was going to write about but, none the less

I guess I will think about it and maybe write it tomorrow...?

~A

Blogging is addicting. I don't care who you are, once you get started it's like: "ooh. blogging."
As is chocolate. Cute shoes.
New clothes. BOOKS. Friends.
As is God.

So, we have all these addicting things in our lives. They consume us (now that I think about it... Freddie Highmore should be on that list.) and they make us who we are. You go into a candy store craving chocolate, you're going to get chocolate. You go to a store, see cute shoes, no matter how dry your wallet is those shoes are going to be yours.
It's addicting. Consuming.
I used to get a magazine called BRIO. It was an amazing magazine. I remember this article that was talking about priority. The title was Where Do You Put God in Your Life? And there was a picture of Jesus, bleeding on the cross on the very bottom of a ladder. When i saw that picture I was horrified. They treated Jesus like the bottom of the food chain.
But as I read the article I noticed that's how I was. My friends and everything in my life that would one day run through my fingers was high up there. Then... on the very bottom... was Jesus. So I could call and check up every once and a while, but never really care.
That's really big for me now. I want God to be my constant. My number one. Top of the totem pole.
How bad do you want it?
Blurb for the day.

• Today I went out with Brittany and had loads of fun!
• Emma came over yesterday and we volunteered at my church. I love that girl, and I had a lot of fun! We ended up singing from 10:00 until 11:00 because nobody would give us a cleaning job!
• Desperate times call for desperate measures.
• Not seeing Astro Boy is... angering. VERY.

Dear Life,

So, it was snowing today. Thus came the never-ending facebook-snow-statuses. It was interesting reading all those statuses that said pretty much the same thing. Then there were the multiple statuses that said that people actually WANTED to go to school.
It's a shocking thing, wanting to go to school. Though I suppose I kind of want to as well.
Today I shoveled for money. As I did yesterday too. Shoveling is an interesting thing to do. It gives me lots of time to think. And considering I was shoveling a parking lot, emphasis on the whole TIME thing.
So I was scooping, and thinking about my book (RTBB) and the book I am going to start once RTBB is done. Then I started acting out various monologues and movie scripts I had memorized then I thought about God and my dreams, and his plans and hopes for my future.
And I thought of this verse:

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. Before you were born I set you apart..." (Jeremiah 1:5)

That's a pretty amazing thing. He knew the plans he had before me. He knew me, weirdness and all and he set me apart. I don't know if I'm going to end up fulfilling my dreams. But I do know this: God set me apart, and he knows my dreams better than I do.
Blurb for the day.

• I missed out on sledding with three of my best friends today. That's sad.
  
• They left snow angels in my yard though. TOTALLY WORTH IT!
• Chili is the meal of the day.
• My feet are cold and all my socks are in the laundry. Perfect timing? I think so!
• Tomorrow will be an amazing day!
  
• God is definitely amazing. Spectacular. Marvelous. Miraculous. Gracious. Lovely.
• I finally learned how to spell definitely. Aren't you proud?
• Enough said.

Well, there is no way to describe how happy I am about the comments! I almost, lost my mind it was that cool!
Just to let everyone know, the picture for this blog makes me laugh every time I see it. No joke.
So, today I had a really great week. On tuesday (has it really been that long since I blogged??) I was reading my lovely bible and I came across these verses in Hebrews:

"The words "once more" indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire." (Hebrews 12: 27-29)

That is an amazing word to get a hold of. When you devote your heart to God you can be happy, and at peace that you stand on a rock, you stand with a God that cannot be shaken. You will not be shaken!
I was thinking about the verses all week and I had my own little "conversation" with God.

God: So, you go that word, how about giving it to some other people.
Me: But God that's really hard. I don't know how to do that.
G: Did I ever promise you it would be easy?
M: No, no you didn't. Why can't it be?
G: Because then I would be your average God. And I am more than that. I AM GOD. I gave you that word, those scriptures, you're going to carry them with you. I promised you that if you trusted in my i would never put on you more than you can bear. I will never let you be shaken. There is no promise in there that it's going to be easy.
M: But HOW? God sometimes it's so hard and I don't know what to do!
G: Is it not easy to pull someone off a chair? Yet how hard is it to pull someone onto it? You're my child, I have your future mapped for you. Don't worry. So what, it's not easy? You CAN do it.
M: But HOW?
G: Oh you already know. You will not be shaken.

Then it was like God went off line. He was still there, but he wanted me to think about it. And I did. It totally did. And I think that my faith is elevated and I can do it. We ALL can do it.
Blurb for the day.

• Last night I went to our school play and it was better than I had expected!
• And I went with my twin sister on what we called a "date night".
• Pretty much the best date ever (considering I've never been on one, it was insane! My standards are now extremely high!)
• And Astro Boy (ASTRO BOY!!!!!) came out Friday. I will probably have to wait until next week to see it though. I just realized, I haven't talked about Freddie Highmore on the blog in a long time.
• Dear goodness.
• God is definitely doing a thing in my life and I am SO SO ready.
  
• Have a beautiful ending.

Slap Happy.
That's the only way I can describe myself at this moment! (By the way, where did that phrase origonate? I, personally wouldn't be too happy if I was slapped. Just saying.)
I think it all started way back when on Friday night prayer. I have said it quite a few times in recent posts: How bad do you want it?
This, I think really changed my life. I desperately needed that. That was my second time attending prayer, the first time I had, I guess what you could call an emotional break down. The world felt like it was crashing down, but then we had a big prayer and well, that was that.
Leah prayed for me (and amazing thing) and I couldn't stop sobbing. Big choking sobs, sobs that, if you didn't know why they were coming out, would break your heart.
That's what amazing about God. No matter how many times you walk away, turn your back, he's still there. He was there when I was in prayer, at the end of the line playing my heart song.
He knows how much you can take, and he will NOT leave you or forsake you!
God has been dealing with me lately, in a way I have never felt before. It feels good to pray, it feels good to give myself over to him at the end of the day.
There is definitely that change and I hold on to those words:
"How badly do you want it?"

• I woke up at 3:45 this morning without my alarm and was not even tired!
• I went to bed at 11.
• So I read my bible. I tell you, it was a God thing. I also thought. Thinking is my pleasure. IT completes my life.
• Like Barlow Girl...
• Have a beautiful ending.
• Enough said.

Showers, are a waste of my time.
You really can't do anything in a shower but... bathe. And, personally it's not that entertaining. That is a full 7 minutes of my life I could be using doing something else!
Some may argue that I am being unreasonable, that it is disgusting to say that. I mean, I like being clean, but I like being dirty at the same time. Because when I am dirty or sweaty after a good, long run, I feel so accomplished! Maybe it's just me.
But now I think of poor children who rarely get to bathe and think, well, maybe a shower isn't that bad after all.

• I am back to me. Full out Sydney. Take it or leave it. God has definitely been dealing with my heart. The process has been kind of ugly, and I'm not out of the water yet, but I am who God says I am and nothing is going to change that.
• I don't have any deep wisdom right now. Actually, no, I do. But I think it's for me, God meant it for me, and I'm going to tuck it away in my jacket pocket, lined with silk, so I can take it out, and admire it every night as the light grows dim and my eyelids grow heavy. And I will think of what a beautiful gift I have, that God gave me. What a beautiful gift I get to keep.
  
• I'm going to get selfish in the spirit, like pastor says. Just this one time.
• It's been an interesting weekend. I got kind of lonely not talking to my twin and Twinkie.
• I've been kind of sad with the lack of comments lately. I'm back to that whole:
  Dear world, thank you for not hearing me but letting me pour my heart just to feel heard. Sincerely,
  Me
• Today I was hanging laundry (oodles) and I was like: "well hey! Sydney, pal, what's going on? You could be doing something productive with your laundry-hanging time! Turn that frown upside-down!"
• So I went into my room. Unplugged my i-pod dock (a process that involves moving my bookshelf... sigh) then lugged my i-pod dock to the bathroom, plugged it in, strung the impossibly long cord along the counter and went to Hillsong United. And as I hung the laundry I sang my heart out to every praise and worship song that came on.
• And it was great.
• However, I'm glad God loves us no matter what because as I sang my heart out I was stringing underwear along a wire. Just saying.
• My family is debating which movie to watch tonight and I think I should be a part of this conversation of up-most importance.
• Enough said.

For some reason, every time I type "though" I always type a t at the end then delete it. It's like osmosis. it's weird. Just a little quirky side note that you may remember in the future. It's like, useless information.
Like a shark stops breathing when it's not moving.
In the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy's last name is Gail. It says so on the mailbox.
Captain Kirk never said "Beam me up Scottie".
Children grow faster in the spring time.
Pointless information like that. I mean, you take it and... walk around with it? I don't know, maybe you could slap it in front of a politician or something.
Anyway.
My blogger boycott, as you can tell, ended today because I finally got inspiration, and I finally couldn't stand the lonely state of our blog page. So, I was listening to Superchick's song: beauty from pain. Part of the song goes like this:

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best i can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though i can't understand why this happened
I know that i will when i look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

And wow. It wrapped up my life. As do a lot of songs lately, but this one was really big for me because I have had so much pain in my life. I watched my mother slip through my fingers. I saw people hurting all the time, and life never really seemed fair to me.
But God brings beauty from pain.
You have to go through pain, and heart ache to be beautiful. Because that's what makes you, you. That's what creates your testimony.
A swan is hideous when it's a baby. It's small and gray and nothing looks right on it. But over time, through the cold harsh winter that ugly duckling turns to something beautiful and captivating.
I don't know why, but I always find when I'm hurting and straying spiritually songs like these come to me. This was one of those times.
This wasn't a terribly long post, nor was it insanely deep. But I think I got something out of it. I think it helped change my life, my future.
Enough said.

Trip, Ace & Demo,

~A&A

P.S. listen to "beauty from pain"

For some reason right now, I can't get these three certain things out of my head:

1. Why things happen
2. Barlow Girl, and how much they sum up my life
3. Something I am not going to mention

• Our house smells so good right now. We're having french toast (french toast!) for lunch. That is an amazing feeling.
• Church was amazing today. I really loved it and being with all the girls.
  
• Why can't I get this thing out of my head right now? I have this one thought occupying my thoughts that will not stop. It's like a little pick ax on my brain. ping. ping. ping.
• Have a beautiful ending.

Ok so I know how I said that I love running in the cold weather, and I still do, but today was the coldest race of my life. And believe me it was a challenge. So I get to the school at 8:15 in the morning just like they wanted and it's snowing. We drive all the way to the meet which is around 30 minutes away and we get off the bus only to hear that it has been postponed 30 minutes. So its 9:00 and I don't run until 12 now. Fun. So I fall asleep in the isle of the bus (because it's much more comfortable down there then it is on the tiny seat) until my friend starts pouring crumbs on my face. I'm really not sure why but it woke me up! We were all hoping that the meet was going to be canceled but it wasn't. So we were going to be running in the 20 degree weather. My friend Kylie and I were joking that it was too cold to snow. When it was my turn to race we went to go warm up and stretch and then we went to the start line where it took like 5 minutes for the guy to finally come out and say the little stuff you need to know like if someone falls we will hear another shot and we have to go back to the start line. Finally the race starts and I can tell that I'm not going to do very good. Here's how I know:

1. My other friend Zoe's brother said that he thinks he broke 30. And for those of you who don't know 30 minutes for him would be terrible.
2. My lungs feel like they are going to explode with every breath I take and my heart feels like its frozen to my chest.
3. I can't feel my nose within the first minute
4. My legs are really really tired
5. The ground is so uneven I'm looking down the entire time to make sure I don't twist an ankle

Ok so they aren't the most ideal running conditions but do I stop? No. Do I decide not to try and just go a slow easy pace like everyone else? No. I keep running, really hard, in fact I keep up with these two girls named Tanna and Amy who are way faster then me. (although I think they are a few of the people who decided that they weren't going to run as fast as they could) The course was pretty hilly and at one point we had to run in sand, and as Zoe described it "It felt like I was going backwards!", I thought that was an accurate description. So i finished the race, near the end i passed like three people but then they started sprinting and just passed me again. I thought I was going pretty fast at the end but my dad said I was pretty much standing still. So that was my day for ya. Tomorrow I'm going to 10:30 mass and then were staying after for a little church meeting thing. I'm not positive what that is going to be like, all that I know is that we have to fill out a lot of papers. I'm hoping that I will be able to go to the store afterwards so that i can buy Mario cart for the wii. Fun times, and then I will have to invite Sydney over so we can duke it out!

DON'T FEED THE WILD ANIMALS!

~A

Today was one of those days.
It wasn't exactly the best, to start out. Later, however, it got better. We were driving home and listening to the radio (oh how it makes a great good dent in my life) and Barlow Girl came on (oh how they complete my life). It was their song Beautiful Ending, which I have come to love very much and it just made me perk up. The lyrics are like this:

Oh tragedy has taken so many
Love lost cause it all forgot who you were
And it scares me to think that I would choose
My life over you
Oh my selfish heart
Divides me from you
It tears us apart

So tell me what is our ending
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful

Oh why do I let myself let go
Of hands that painted the stars and holds tears that fall
And the brighter my heart makes me forget
It's not me but you
Who makes the heart beat
I'm lost without you
You're dying for me

So tell me what is our ending
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful
Will my life find me by your side
Your love is beautiful
So beautiful

At the end of it all I wanna be in your arms [x4]

So tell me what is our ending
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful
Will my life find me by your side
Cause your love is beautiful
So beautiful

This song hits me hard in a lot of aspects, but it took on different meaning today.
What was my ending for today going to be like? Was I going to still be stuck in the mud under this ugly storm cloud? Was I going to wallow in self-pity forever? No. I wanted the end of my day to be beautiful. I wanted it to be a beautiful ending, one that I could look back on and be like: "Yeah Syd, that was beautiful."
Not only that but one of my friends lost her mother recently. I know all too well what that is like. And it cut me rather deep to think that she was going through that. And I cried for her on Friday night prayer, because that is hard. That's something that nobody needs to experience, but does because it's part of life. But the part of the song where they sing:
"Oh why do I let myself let go
Of hands that painted the stars and holds tears that fall"
I knew that she wasn't alone, and that my hurting from missing my mother was still there, it would be impossible to forget. But God was there all along, even when I turned my back, he was catching my tears. He still is.
Enough said.

Trip, Ace & Demo,

~A&A

P.S. Have a beautiful ending

I don't know what to say. By that, as usual, I have A LOT to say. As in, there is so much I have to say I don't even know where to begin.
I guess prayer would be my starting place. I didn't feel so hot when I went into prayer, and I didn't exactly feel fantastic leaving either. But during prayer, it was amazing.
I have been thinking about "the race of faith" lately and not walking off the track, when I remembered a very popular passage of scripture:

"... Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, his love endures forever..."
(Psalms 136)

But there was one word that struck me: endures.
I often refer to the word endures as in running. It's hard and you have to endure to pass the finish line. But in this scripture it's not talking about us enduring, but aboug God enduring, or more correctly his love enduring.
We don't endure alone. We don't fight this spiritual battle alone, we don't endure alone. It says right there He is enduring too! That is so amazing to me.
When God showed that to me it hurt my heart so bad because I'm always thinking about myself through this, all my struggles, when God's standing right besides us fighting too.
Blurb for the day.

• By the way, my blurb has SO much to do with my 5 minute challenge.
• I went to Emma's today so we could work on editing my book (wow. what an insane thing to call it. God has blessed me so much with this story, you have no idea!
  
• It was fun too though. Did I mention he was tri-polar? I told you all the names have significance!! Oh yeah, and they're all telepathic. Just a heads up!
  
• Sigh. Don't you just love those little moments that make you laugh so hard? They make the world go round, they really do. They're blessings in disguise.
• It's finally the weekend. School wasn't so bad, and I really enjoyed talking to Kristen and Taylor in history. That is probably one of the best classes!
• My family is watching Wall. E right now. I wanted to watch Finding Nemo but nooooo.
• You win some you lose some.
• Enough said.

Ok, I have to say one thing and one thing only (actually I have a lot of things to say, but this is the one that's going to get out of the ball park) Emma, I know you're reading this so read up: You can never ever, ever, ever write too much! So the next post, man I want it to be a novel! You are a beautiful girl and writer and I dare you to think about yourself for a few seconds and write everything. I dare you.
Ok, my rant is over, somewhat.
Today was a really great day. Beyond great, actually. I definetly had the joy of the Lord inside. But there was something that I found out last night that stirred emotions in me that I slam lids on. I'm not an emotional person, I try not to be.
But I was sitting in bed and I was thinking about God. I was wondering why He didn't just show me what to do, how to live right for him, why didn't he just make me be perfect in his eyes? And I got it. Oh my gosh did I get it. I got the image of a slave in my head.
Running, running away from what they are forced to do.
And it all clicked, the puzzle pieces were falling into place.
We're not God's slaves. He doesn't force us to do anything. We chose. That's where God's love comes in. Jesus wasn't forced to be brutally murdered and nailed to a cross. He could have destroyed every single on of those soldiers without batting an eye. But he didn't. He chose to stay there and take that pain.
I don't know. To me, that is truly amazing.
Blurb for the day.

• Today, I cracked and write A TON more in my story... I mean, book.
  
• In fact, I am sad and happy to say this (if your name is Danielle, Emma or Grace I HIGHLY reccomend you DO NOT read the rest of this bullet!) Ok. When I was writing I wrote this really good part that it made me cry as I wrote it. That was definetly a God thing. He was there and it was his idea. So amazing.
• Anyway. Well I think that this is going to be a pretty short post. I have been on a writing streak and I wrote for a full hour in my book. It's an amazing feeling.
• I really like this song by MercyMe. It's called Finally Home. Here are some of the lyrics to take with you wherever you are.

• Whenever I hear that song it encourages me. It makes me pick myself off, dust myself off and keep on walking. Because, when I finally make it home, it will be SO worth it!
• How badly do you want it?
• Enough said.