BubbleTwins

Blogging is addicting. I don't care who you are, once you get started it's like: "ooh. blogging."
As is chocolate. Cute shoes.
New clothes. BOOKS. Friends.
As is God.

So, we have all these addicting things in our lives. They consume us (now that I think about it... Freddie Highmore should be on that list.) and they make us who we are. You go into a candy store craving chocolate, you're going to get chocolate. You go to a store, see cute shoes, no matter how dry your wallet is those shoes are going to be yours.
It's addicting. Consuming.
I used to get a magazine called BRIO. It was an amazing magazine. I remember this article that was talking about priority. The title was Where Do You Put God in Your Life? And there was a picture of Jesus, bleeding on the cross on the very bottom of a ladder. When i saw that picture I was horrified. They treated Jesus like the bottom of the food chain.
But as I read the article I noticed that's how I was. My friends and everything in my life that would one day run through my fingers was high up there. Then... on the very bottom... was Jesus. So I could call and check up every once and a while, but never really care.
That's really big for me now. I want God to be my constant. My number one. Top of the totem pole.
How bad do you want it?
Blurb for the day.

• Today I went out with Brittany and had loads of fun!
• Emma came over yesterday and we volunteered at my church. I love that girl, and I had a lot of fun! We ended up singing from 10:00 until 11:00 because nobody would give us a cleaning job!
• Desperate times call for desperate measures.
• Not seeing Astro Boy is... angering. VERY.

Dear Life,

So, it was snowing today. Thus came the never-ending facebook-snow-statuses. It was interesting reading all those statuses that said pretty much the same thing. Then there were the multiple statuses that said that people actually WANTED to go to school.
It's a shocking thing, wanting to go to school. Though I suppose I kind of want to as well.
Today I shoveled for money. As I did yesterday too. Shoveling is an interesting thing to do. It gives me lots of time to think. And considering I was shoveling a parking lot, emphasis on the whole TIME thing.
So I was scooping, and thinking about my book (RTBB) and the book I am going to start once RTBB is done. Then I started acting out various monologues and movie scripts I had memorized then I thought about God and my dreams, and his plans and hopes for my future.
And I thought of this verse:

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you. Before you were born I set you apart..." (Jeremiah 1:5)

That's a pretty amazing thing. He knew the plans he had before me. He knew me, weirdness and all and he set me apart. I don't know if I'm going to end up fulfilling my dreams. But I do know this: God set me apart, and he knows my dreams better than I do.
Blurb for the day.

• I missed out on sledding with three of my best friends today. That's sad.
  
• They left snow angels in my yard though. TOTALLY WORTH IT!
• Chili is the meal of the day.
• My feet are cold and all my socks are in the laundry. Perfect timing? I think so!
• Tomorrow will be an amazing day!
  
• God is definitely amazing. Spectacular. Marvelous. Miraculous. Gracious. Lovely.
• I finally learned how to spell definitely. Aren't you proud?
• Enough said.

Well, there is no way to describe how happy I am about the comments! I almost, lost my mind it was that cool!
Just to let everyone know, the picture for this blog makes me laugh every time I see it. No joke.
So, today I had a really great week. On tuesday (has it really been that long since I blogged??) I was reading my lovely bible and I came across these verses in Hebrews:

"The words "once more" indicate the removing of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what cannot be shaken may remain. Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us be thankful, and so worship God acceptably with reverence and awe, for our "God is a consuming fire." (Hebrews 12: 27-29)

That is an amazing word to get a hold of. When you devote your heart to God you can be happy, and at peace that you stand on a rock, you stand with a God that cannot be shaken. You will not be shaken!
I was thinking about the verses all week and I had my own little "conversation" with God.

God: So, you go that word, how about giving it to some other people.
Me: But God that's really hard. I don't know how to do that.
G: Did I ever promise you it would be easy?
M: No, no you didn't. Why can't it be?
G: Because then I would be your average God. And I am more than that. I AM GOD. I gave you that word, those scriptures, you're going to carry them with you. I promised you that if you trusted in my i would never put on you more than you can bear. I will never let you be shaken. There is no promise in there that it's going to be easy.
M: But HOW? God sometimes it's so hard and I don't know what to do!
G: Is it not easy to pull someone off a chair? Yet how hard is it to pull someone onto it? You're my child, I have your future mapped for you. Don't worry. So what, it's not easy? You CAN do it.
M: But HOW?
G: Oh you already know. You will not be shaken.

Then it was like God went off line. He was still there, but he wanted me to think about it. And I did. It totally did. And I think that my faith is elevated and I can do it. We ALL can do it.
Blurb for the day.

• Last night I went to our school play and it was better than I had expected!
• And I went with my twin sister on what we called a "date night".
• Pretty much the best date ever (considering I've never been on one, it was insane! My standards are now extremely high!)
• And Astro Boy (ASTRO BOY!!!!!) came out Friday. I will probably have to wait until next week to see it though. I just realized, I haven't talked about Freddie Highmore on the blog in a long time.
• Dear goodness.
• God is definitely doing a thing in my life and I am SO SO ready.
  
• Have a beautiful ending.

Slap Happy.
That's the only way I can describe myself at this moment! (By the way, where did that phrase origonate? I, personally wouldn't be too happy if I was slapped. Just saying.)
I think it all started way back when on Friday night prayer. I have said it quite a few times in recent posts: How bad do you want it?
This, I think really changed my life. I desperately needed that. That was my second time attending prayer, the first time I had, I guess what you could call an emotional break down. The world felt like it was crashing down, but then we had a big prayer and well, that was that.
Leah prayed for me (and amazing thing) and I couldn't stop sobbing. Big choking sobs, sobs that, if you didn't know why they were coming out, would break your heart.
That's what amazing about God. No matter how many times you walk away, turn your back, he's still there. He was there when I was in prayer, at the end of the line playing my heart song.
He knows how much you can take, and he will NOT leave you or forsake you!
God has been dealing with me lately, in a way I have never felt before. It feels good to pray, it feels good to give myself over to him at the end of the day.
There is definitely that change and I hold on to those words:
"How badly do you want it?"

• I woke up at 3:45 this morning without my alarm and was not even tired!
• I went to bed at 11.
• So I read my bible. I tell you, it was a God thing. I also thought. Thinking is my pleasure. IT completes my life.
• Like Barlow Girl...
• Have a beautiful ending.
• Enough said.

Showers, are a waste of my time.
You really can't do anything in a shower but... bathe. And, personally it's not that entertaining. That is a full 7 minutes of my life I could be using doing something else!
Some may argue that I am being unreasonable, that it is disgusting to say that. I mean, I like being clean, but I like being dirty at the same time. Because when I am dirty or sweaty after a good, long run, I feel so accomplished! Maybe it's just me.
But now I think of poor children who rarely get to bathe and think, well, maybe a shower isn't that bad after all.

• I am back to me. Full out Sydney. Take it or leave it. God has definitely been dealing with my heart. The process has been kind of ugly, and I'm not out of the water yet, but I am who God says I am and nothing is going to change that.
• I don't have any deep wisdom right now. Actually, no, I do. But I think it's for me, God meant it for me, and I'm going to tuck it away in my jacket pocket, lined with silk, so I can take it out, and admire it every night as the light grows dim and my eyelids grow heavy. And I will think of what a beautiful gift I have, that God gave me. What a beautiful gift I get to keep.
  
• I'm going to get selfish in the spirit, like pastor says. Just this one time.
• It's been an interesting weekend. I got kind of lonely not talking to my twin and Twinkie.
• I've been kind of sad with the lack of comments lately. I'm back to that whole:
  Dear world, thank you for not hearing me but letting me pour my heart just to feel heard. Sincerely,
  Me
• Today I was hanging laundry (oodles) and I was like: "well hey! Sydney, pal, what's going on? You could be doing something productive with your laundry-hanging time! Turn that frown upside-down!"
• So I went into my room. Unplugged my i-pod dock (a process that involves moving my bookshelf... sigh) then lugged my i-pod dock to the bathroom, plugged it in, strung the impossibly long cord along the counter and went to Hillsong United. And as I hung the laundry I sang my heart out to every praise and worship song that came on.
• And it was great.
• However, I'm glad God loves us no matter what because as I sang my heart out I was stringing underwear along a wire. Just saying.
• My family is debating which movie to watch tonight and I think I should be a part of this conversation of up-most importance.
• Enough said.

For some reason, every time I type "though" I always type a t at the end then delete it. It's like osmosis. it's weird. Just a little quirky side note that you may remember in the future. It's like, useless information.
Like a shark stops breathing when it's not moving.
In the Wizard of Oz, Dorothy's last name is Gail. It says so on the mailbox.
Captain Kirk never said "Beam me up Scottie".
Children grow faster in the spring time.
Pointless information like that. I mean, you take it and... walk around with it? I don't know, maybe you could slap it in front of a politician or something.
Anyway.
My blogger boycott, as you can tell, ended today because I finally got inspiration, and I finally couldn't stand the lonely state of our blog page. So, I was listening to Superchick's song: beauty from pain. Part of the song goes like this:

After all this has passed, i still will remain
After i've cried my last, there'll be beauty from pain
Though it won't be today,
Someday i'll hope again
And there'll be beauty from pain
You will bring beauty from my pain

My whole world is the pain inside me
The best i can do is just get through the day
When life before is only a memory
I'll wonder why God lets me walk through this place
And though i can't understand why this happened
I know that i will when i look back someday
And see how you've brought beauty from ashes
And made me as gold purified through these flames

And wow. It wrapped up my life. As do a lot of songs lately, but this one was really big for me because I have had so much pain in my life. I watched my mother slip through my fingers. I saw people hurting all the time, and life never really seemed fair to me.
But God brings beauty from pain.
You have to go through pain, and heart ache to be beautiful. Because that's what makes you, you. That's what creates your testimony.
A swan is hideous when it's a baby. It's small and gray and nothing looks right on it. But over time, through the cold harsh winter that ugly duckling turns to something beautiful and captivating.
I don't know why, but I always find when I'm hurting and straying spiritually songs like these come to me. This was one of those times.
This wasn't a terribly long post, nor was it insanely deep. But I think I got something out of it. I think it helped change my life, my future.
Enough said.

Trip, Ace & Demo,

~A&A

P.S. listen to "beauty from pain"

For some reason right now, I can't get these three certain things out of my head:

1. Why things happen
2. Barlow Girl, and how much they sum up my life
3. Something I am not going to mention

• Our house smells so good right now. We're having french toast (french toast!) for lunch. That is an amazing feeling.
• Church was amazing today. I really loved it and being with all the girls.
  
• Why can't I get this thing out of my head right now? I have this one thought occupying my thoughts that will not stop. It's like a little pick ax on my brain. ping. ping. ping.
• Have a beautiful ending.

Ok so I know how I said that I love running in the cold weather, and I still do, but today was the coldest race of my life. And believe me it was a challenge. So I get to the school at 8:15 in the morning just like they wanted and it's snowing. We drive all the way to the meet which is around 30 minutes away and we get off the bus only to hear that it has been postponed 30 minutes. So its 9:00 and I don't run until 12 now. Fun. So I fall asleep in the isle of the bus (because it's much more comfortable down there then it is on the tiny seat) until my friend starts pouring crumbs on my face. I'm really not sure why but it woke me up! We were all hoping that the meet was going to be canceled but it wasn't. So we were going to be running in the 20 degree weather. My friend Kylie and I were joking that it was too cold to snow. When it was my turn to race we went to go warm up and stretch and then we went to the start line where it took like 5 minutes for the guy to finally come out and say the little stuff you need to know like if someone falls we will hear another shot and we have to go back to the start line. Finally the race starts and I can tell that I'm not going to do very good. Here's how I know:

1. My other friend Zoe's brother said that he thinks he broke 30. And for those of you who don't know 30 minutes for him would be terrible.
2. My lungs feel like they are going to explode with every breath I take and my heart feels like its frozen to my chest.
3. I can't feel my nose within the first minute
4. My legs are really really tired
5. The ground is so uneven I'm looking down the entire time to make sure I don't twist an ankle

Ok so they aren't the most ideal running conditions but do I stop? No. Do I decide not to try and just go a slow easy pace like everyone else? No. I keep running, really hard, in fact I keep up with these two girls named Tanna and Amy who are way faster then me. (although I think they are a few of the people who decided that they weren't going to run as fast as they could) The course was pretty hilly and at one point we had to run in sand, and as Zoe described it "It felt like I was going backwards!", I thought that was an accurate description. So i finished the race, near the end i passed like three people but then they started sprinting and just passed me again. I thought I was going pretty fast at the end but my dad said I was pretty much standing still. So that was my day for ya. Tomorrow I'm going to 10:30 mass and then were staying after for a little church meeting thing. I'm not positive what that is going to be like, all that I know is that we have to fill out a lot of papers. I'm hoping that I will be able to go to the store afterwards so that i can buy Mario cart for the wii. Fun times, and then I will have to invite Sydney over so we can duke it out!

DON'T FEED THE WILD ANIMALS!

~A

Today was one of those days.
It wasn't exactly the best, to start out. Later, however, it got better. We were driving home and listening to the radio (oh how it makes a great good dent in my life) and Barlow Girl came on (oh how they complete my life). It was their song Beautiful Ending, which I have come to love very much and it just made me perk up. The lyrics are like this:

Oh tragedy has taken so many
Love lost cause it all forgot who you were
And it scares me to think that I would choose
My life over you
Oh my selfish heart
Divides me from you
It tears us apart

So tell me what is our ending
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful

Oh why do I let myself let go
Of hands that painted the stars and holds tears that fall
And the brighter my heart makes me forget
It's not me but you
Who makes the heart beat
I'm lost without you
You're dying for me

So tell me what is our ending
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful
Will my life find me by your side
Your love is beautiful
So beautiful

At the end of it all I wanna be in your arms [x4]

So tell me what is our ending
Will it be beautiful
So beautiful
Will my life find me by your side
Cause your love is beautiful
So beautiful

This song hits me hard in a lot of aspects, but it took on different meaning today.
What was my ending for today going to be like? Was I going to still be stuck in the mud under this ugly storm cloud? Was I going to wallow in self-pity forever? No. I wanted the end of my day to be beautiful. I wanted it to be a beautiful ending, one that I could look back on and be like: "Yeah Syd, that was beautiful."
Not only that but one of my friends lost her mother recently. I know all too well what that is like. And it cut me rather deep to think that she was going through that. And I cried for her on Friday night prayer, because that is hard. That's something that nobody needs to experience, but does because it's part of life. But the part of the song where they sing:
"Oh why do I let myself let go
Of hands that painted the stars and holds tears that fall"
I knew that she wasn't alone, and that my hurting from missing my mother was still there, it would be impossible to forget. But God was there all along, even when I turned my back, he was catching my tears. He still is.
Enough said.

Trip, Ace & Demo,

~A&A

P.S. Have a beautiful ending

I don't know what to say. By that, as usual, I have A LOT to say. As in, there is so much I have to say I don't even know where to begin.
I guess prayer would be my starting place. I didn't feel so hot when I went into prayer, and I didn't exactly feel fantastic leaving either. But during prayer, it was amazing.
I have been thinking about "the race of faith" lately and not walking off the track, when I remembered a very popular passage of scripture:

"... Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, his love endures forever..."
(Psalms 136)

But there was one word that struck me: endures.
I often refer to the word endures as in running. It's hard and you have to endure to pass the finish line. But in this scripture it's not talking about us enduring, but aboug God enduring, or more correctly his love enduring.
We don't endure alone. We don't fight this spiritual battle alone, we don't endure alone. It says right there He is enduring too! That is so amazing to me.
When God showed that to me it hurt my heart so bad because I'm always thinking about myself through this, all my struggles, when God's standing right besides us fighting too.
Blurb for the day.

• By the way, my blurb has SO much to do with my 5 minute challenge.
• I went to Emma's today so we could work on editing my book (wow. what an insane thing to call it. God has blessed me so much with this story, you have no idea!
  
• It was fun too though. Did I mention he was tri-polar? I told you all the names have significance!! Oh yeah, and they're all telepathic. Just a heads up!
  
• Sigh. Don't you just love those little moments that make you laugh so hard? They make the world go round, they really do. They're blessings in disguise.
• It's finally the weekend. School wasn't so bad, and I really enjoyed talking to Kristen and Taylor in history. That is probably one of the best classes!
• My family is watching Wall. E right now. I wanted to watch Finding Nemo but nooooo.
• You win some you lose some.
• Enough said.